Here I go again

Hey, I don’t think there is any need for introduction… I’m writing again means I’m either feeling really up or really down. This time, I’m really pissed that I’m still dependent on people. I don’t know why I always end up at that side of the coin. There is good in today… Desiree is the Best part of today, she always gave me something to hold on to. Today is Otito’s birthday and for the first time in a long time, I felt the value of money. I thought of giving her a mind blowing present and spending the entire evening with her, however I could not achieve any of these. My gut tells me somewhere that she would have loved to spend that time with me. But then, did I chicken out as usual or have I created a new excuse for passing up such a wonderful opportunity?? I was awake at 12am… I picked my phone up and composed a really cool sms. 20mins later, sms failed… I was out of credit. Thanks to Windows Phone, I easily sent a Facebook message (With all my hopes tied to it). I hour later, I got a friendly reply. I had a gut feeling that my day was set. I slept for the night and woke up this morning in high spirits.This morning, I woke up at 8, made my breakfast, endured the house-cleaning chores and then started learning rails and behavior driven development (That’s a coding style for the pros). It was 1:30, I cleaned myself and set out for the Level Meeting (Some gathering of folks in 500Level attending rhema campus fellowship). Anyways that meeting did not start until 3:25 (You know how much I hate Idling, I’d rather be reading).  Meeting started, tough decisions, 4:30 meeting ended, I was stoaked and uncomfortable in my own skin. At 5:15, I decided to skip the birthday chop chop. I mean I could barely look anyone in the eye without feeling uncomfortable. So I left… I hurried up, fighting my way awkwardly to the comfort of my home. Alas, I was home. I told myself to get back out there and be confident. So I cleaned my slipper, blasted deodourants over my body, washed my face and feet (Yes feet, my feet were brown and dusty). Did everything I knew could make me feel comfortable and I was off to the church.I got to church, lazed around for a while. Then I got a girl I could cause to keep smiling as long as I keep talking. Time moved fast. Then my long awaited moment was here. She was here. Yeah, Otito was here. Honestly, My heart skipped a beat, but I was fine, I stalled a little and moved towards her. To be honest, the greeting I gave, or the one I received was a lot less grand than I thought. I kept at it, I couldn’t hide my restlessness, I couldn’t think anymore, that one big perfect moment did not happen, I needed another, so while my brain was wondering, Wonyin Noticed MeEnter WoyinWoyin is one of the interesting people I know, She is usually swamped with architectural work and most of the time sleeps over at the studio. She draws mickey mouse with an oblong nose, I think she can beat me at need for speed, she is not afraid to show she hates catering. She is really interesting by my standards. I met her like two and a half years ago. Even then she was a mega source of inspiration to me, I always looked forward to spending time with her. I was sure of one thing, I would be completely natural, anything less than that will feel awkward… Oh and I must add, the career Espeezy is officially deadExit WonyinWonyin and I chatted for a while and I found out she’s been aware of my secret crush (will I say affection) for Otito. Eba was served, with water, and she just took her water and drank without waiting for the formalties… Well, we washed each other’s hands, settled down to consume the white and yellow mountain. As we huncked chunks of those rocks against the mountain side vegetation (Or what we call Efo Riro). We talked about some personal things. There were a lot of smiles from me. I was glad I met her. Anyways, Wonyin clouded my mind, I occasionally forgot Otito. By the time I was done with the meal, I was like wtf, why am I giving myself away for someone who hardly makes an effort… I left church for home to continue my ruby on rails.Its 12:01 pm now…. One wish: I wish Otito and I became a little more intimateJ